Made a startling discovery in church this morning. It appears that I have been bottling up quite a number of emotions, and the shouting session during the Praise in church provided some sort of a release that I couldn't say no to a second and third lung-filled-with-air screams. It felt so good that I felt like I have been walking around with a huge weight on my heart. Not that I have been consciously worried or anything, but sub-consciously I have been frustrated that thing are not working as fast as I thought they would. Come to think of it, I used to write to ease the tension I feel inside. Not writing in a while means that the pressure has been steadily building up and God help me. I have to keep defusing every now and then so as to keep myself and folks around me safe from the corrosive nature of built up disapointment, anger, and other negative emotions. Thinking instead on things that are good, lovely, good report,virtous, praiseworthy will ensure a more fulfilled life. I love my life, do you?
Forgiveness, just like Love, has definitions to varying degrees or like an onion—layers. I always thought I had the forgiveness thing locked down, yeah right! Just like the proverbial out of the blue, it hit me that I had just erased that part from memory and decided the type of forgiveness I wanted to extend. I found out that I couldn’t (or at least that’s what I had subconsciously agreed) go back if I had the chance. On my way home, it became evident that this sealed can of worms had been in the basement and it is already stinking. It took an interviewer’s probing questions for me to shed light on that chapter in my life’s story. Forgiveness is absolute, but just like everything else, we make it relative and as such varying standards abound. This means what I call forgiveness may not cut it for someone else. While my version of forgiveness may be shallow and warped, yours may be brutally honest. Ultimately, we are responsible for our versions of forgiveness, while it is in our best